Are you more often a winner or a victim?
Did you know each of us, without exception, is playing the victim? Well... yes!, but at different levels and in different fields. What does it mean to play the victim and why use the term to play? We usually think of playing in terms of a game; a game is an activity where there is a winner and a loser. In this case, when we consider ourselves the victim of something or somebody, we think of ourselves as losers. Thus, we give all our power to the situation or person which we acknowledge as the winner.
In which fields do you consider yourself a loser? To help find out, listen to your words and thoughts when you complain about something that's not going as you want it, or when you lack something. Possible fields: health, education, goods, money, time, leisure activities, respect, etc.
If you don't see yourself as being a victim in any of the examples mentioned above, I suggest you ask your friends or colleagues to let you know you when you complain. A very efficient method is to allow them to say Poor You each time you complain. This helped me a lot personally. But, beware! It's not easy to hear because it's hard on the ego!
When you discover the victim in you, know that this situation keeps on happening in your life only because you give your power to the other. When you are playing the victim and thinking of yourself as the loser, check what you really want FOR YOU in the situation. Then, take the time to plan what you can do to get what you want. You'll be surprised to realize that by re-establishing contact with your power to create the situation you want, you will regain the energy that the "winner" had taken away from you.