Do you really have problems?

I sincerely believe that if the word "problem" had never existed, numerous difficulties would have been avoided. I prefer using the word "experience" instead. Let's go over the dictionary's definition for these two words.

Problem : A situation that causes difficulties which must be solved in order to get results; unstable or dangerous situation which requires a decision.

Experience : Active participation in events or activities, leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill.

Don't you agree that the second definition is by far a better one?

I know that certain situations seem like real problems at first. Here are some of them that I often hear about:

• "I have money problems"
• "People don't understand me;
• "I can't find a mate"
• "I have problems with my kids" or "I have a problem child"
• "I have a weight problem"
• "I'm sick"
• "I can't seem to get along with my husband"
• "I don't have a job"

Now how can you transform theses problems into experiences? First of all, you must accept that everything occurring in your life is your own creation. However, in general, you don't create them consciously. I don't believe humankind to be that masochistic. We always experience what we believe in, hence the expression ‘thoughts create', which are themselves determined by our belief system. So when something unpleasant happens to you and turns out to be the opposite of what you want, it means that you obviously hold a belief that is contradictory to your needs. This explains why we can say that we inevitably experience what is needed for our own awareness.

Always knowing our true needs, the Divine presence within us sees to it that we face specific problems in order to help us become aware that we have lost touch with our spiritual nature - or God within us - and have allowed our non beneficial thoughts to control our lives.

With this new way of perceiving a problem, it becomes much easier to envision it as an experience allowing us to improve ourselves. The problem turns into a project to be realized.

Let's now go back to the above mentioned problems and let's transform them into truly rewarding projects and experiences.

MONEY

Anxious thoughts cause anxiety. Prosperous thoughts generate prosperity. Be aware of your thoughts about money, write them down as they come up and do this on a daily basis. Ask people around you to help you notice what you say or do concerning money.

The more you give, the more you receive; that is the way with the law of prosperity. Lately, what have you given away with generosity, without a second thought, without expecting something in return and for the simple pleasure of giving? Do you take time to study what prosperity is about? Books and workshops on this topic are numerous and easily available nowadays.

Decide now that you no longer have problems, only projects which are aimed at changing the attitude blocking abundance in your life. By changing your attitude and belief system, you will automatically act differently.

COMMUNICATION

If you have difficulty in communicating, make a list of the fears hidden behind such a difficulty and give yourself permission to have them. You most probably didn't have a role model in your family from whom you could have learned how to communicate. Don't criticize yourself and don't pass judgment on yourself, and above all, don't attempt to communicate like somebody else, especially if you tend to compare yourself with someone who does communicate easily.

Each and every project has a starting point. A contractor who plans to build a house must start with the foundations. When it comes to communication, start with admitting your fears to the people you have difficulty in communicating with. Give yourself permission to have limits and not being able to go beyond that point at this particular moment. Keep in mind that as soon as you give yourself permission to have those fears, the transformation process begins. It's when you don't accept yourself that everything gets blocked and nothing changes.

FINDING A SPOUSE

Could you be having too many expectations? Instead of limiting yourself by making a mental list of everything you want in a spouse, put your trust in the Divine presence within you who knows your true needs. The right person will be on your path at the right moment. However, you need to plan this new project and take action. Which action can you take every week? It could be saying good morning with a smiling face to at least three new people.

When you meet someone new, regardless of the way the encounter occurred, take the time to get to know the person (at least three months) before deciding he or she isn't suitable for you. During your first dates, what is the basis for saying: "No not her or him"? Quite surely you are using the list drawn up in your mind as a reference point which was itself elaborated from your belief system and fears from your past!

When you think about the ideal spouse, it's often unrealistic and such a spouse will very seldom meet your true needs. In many instances, the reason for saying "no" to somebody new is the exact reason why one should say "yes". The aspect of his or her character you dislike mirrors the very aspect you don't like about yourself.

PROBLEM CHILD

Rarely do you see a problem child; the real problem lies in the attitude that parents have with respect to the child's needs (I'm not talking about his every wish here). The moment you are sincerely interested in his needs and you put aside your beliefs from the past regarding his upbringing, a marked improvement in the relationship between you and your child can be noticed. In order to listen to his inner needs, tell him about your difficulties, your aspirations and desire to be more in touch with him. Be close to him instead of wanting to control and dominate him. Ask for his help as you are treading a new path. I am aware that this approach requires much humility from the parents but the resulting transformation of the relationship with the child is so rewarding that the efforts are worthwhile.

WEIGHT

The fundamental attitude leading to excess weight gain is: "Bring it on... I can take it!" You always want to satisfy everyone's needs. This pattern ends up penalizing you much more than helping you and, as a result, you have a hard time pleasing yourself. You believe in punishing yourself more than anything else. A person with a weight problem struggles to take pleasure in eating. He tends to deprive himself (a form of punishment) or when he eats, he feels guilty afterwards because he has either eaten too much or not eaten the right food (he punishes himself again by accusing himself). You have gotten so used to "taking it on" that you even have some difficulty in receiving. When somebody gives you something, you believe that you have taken something away from the other person and you feel an obligation to give something in return (you punish yourself again). The greatest fear lying behind this attitude is the fear to be ashamed of yourself or to embarrass somebody else. This shameful feeling can manifest itself in several areas of your life such as, for example, the way you eat, your sex life, the way you dress, etc. You could make it your project to become more aware of the level of shame you feel and of everything you take upon yourself that doesn't belong to you. And then, have some compassion for yourself and start satisfying your needs.

HEALTH

When a part of your body is ill, it is being helpful. The Divine presence within you uses your body to send you a message. Any physical discomfort or illness indicates that you are being hindered by one or several of your shadow beliefs. In order to rapidly discover the message, first examine the function of the ailing body part and then establish the link with a situation in your life. For example: for a digestive problem, the question to ask is: "What is the situation or person in my life whom I have difficulty to digest?" With such perception of an illness, you will realize that you don't actually have a health problem, that you are instead experiencing something which is helping you resolve an issue in your life. For further information on this topic, I refer you to my book "Your body's telling you: Love yourself!" where I explain in detail the metaphysical meaning of more than three hundred illnesses and diseases.

RELATIONSHIP

You need to accept the fact that the attraction you felt for your spouse was not a stroke of good fortune or misfortune for that matter. Any spouse must be instrumental to your spiritual life and not only to your material or social life. How so? By accepting the idea that he or she is your mirror image. Everything you criticize about your spouse is the exact picture of an aspect of yourself you don't accept. You can't see in the other something you don't possess yourself. Your spouse is useful in getting to know yourself better, realize it and your relationship will be much better. If you keep saying to yourself: "Yes, but he's the one criticizing me all the time!" keep in mind that you can't reap something you haven't sowed. Stay focused on becoming aware of your own criticism and that project alone will keep you busy for quite some time.

JOB

Could your expectations be too high, such as in the case of a person wanting a spouse? What have you done lately to find yourself a job? Here's a suggestion. Starting next Monday, you have a full time job: from 9 AM to 5 PM every day, you will go out and fill in application forms everywhere. You do it in person and not by telephone or by mail. You choose a particular street and proceed to stop at every single business on your way. You could argue: "Yes but I don't want to work at just any place." Who says that? Your head (intellect) or your inner God? By trusting the Divine presence within you who knows exactly what you need, no need to worry. You will get the job you need. Don't refuse any offer; it may not be the type of work or wages you would have wanted but accept it anyway. In the long term, it may not be the right job for you but it's still something you need in the short term to propel you to another opportunity. Facing your fears will be a tremendous experience which will open you to new possibilities.

For any other problem not mentioned in this article, apply the same steps. Transform it into a project, a useful experience. With such an attitude, you can only win. But above all, remember that you always have the power to choose! You can choose a life full of problems and hardships or a life full of experiences and happiness.

Lise Bourbeau